Sought after Relationship Expert Stacey Martino knows that Better Relationships equal a Better Life™! Stepping out of the old relationship paradigm of couple’s coaching, Stacey and her husband Paul empower individuals with the tools & strategies to transform, not only, their love relationship but ANY relationship…and you don’t need your partner to participate for this to work for you!
Since YOU are the common denominator in all of your relationships, the work begins with you. When you master YOU and how you relate to others, this impacts your relationships with your love, family, business, community and most importantly your relationship with yourself.
Stacey and Paul Martino created Relationship Development®; personal development for your relationships. They are committed to “changing the way relationship is done!”™ Stacey and Paul are the founders of RelationshipDevelopment.org and creators of RelationshipU®, the world’s only Relationship Development® studies program for individuals who want to master their relationships.
Today, through their programs and live events, Stacey and Paul help thousands of people transform their love relationship! And as a happy bonus, you get to apply the same strategies to improve all your relationships.
Trained and certified by Tony Robbins, Stacey is a certified marriage educator and divorce preventionist. An international best-selling author, Stacey is a sought-after relationship expert, passionate and engaging speaker and media guest and is the Relationship Expert for Aspire Magazine.
To answer this question, it’s probably best that I share with you a defining moment that brought me to where I am today, empowering people like you to transform your relationships, create your unshakable love and unleashed passion, all in a way that it only takes ONE person to transform the relationship…ANY relationship!
That defining moment in my life happened one night in the summer of 2000. Paul and I were not yet married back then, but we were in a long term committed relationship. But to be honest with you, that night Paul came to my house to break up with me.
Surprisingly, I started sobbing as he spoke. That may sound like a perfectly normal response to you, but for a girl whose nick-name was ‘The Ice Princess’ it was a very shocking response. Paul was stunned that I was crying…but I was more shocked than him. Paul had never seen me cry in the 4 years we had been together…but what was unraveling me in that moment was that in the 10 years prior to that moment, I had not cried.
The self talk started in my head…
“are you crying?!”
“what’s wrong with you!?”
“are you crying in front of Paul?!”
“you knew this would end…why do you care?”
“why are you crying….stop it!”
As the sobs got heavier and I really started to break down, I heard the self talk in my head shift to something much scarier…
Not that I failed at the relationship…that honestly was not a surprise to me (I was after all the “Ice Princess”), a failed relationship was not something new to me.
What really shook me to my core was that….I failed at protecting myself from this horrid pain!
How could that be? All the walls I put up. All the half-in, half-out. All the “waiting for the other shoe to drop,” protecting, not really caring, not getting too attached….all so that I would never get my heart broken….and I failed!
Because this pain was worse than anything I’d ever felt in my life.
My heart was breaking…..that must be what this awful feeling is!
And until that moment I didn’t even know I loved him!
All in one moment I experienced the realization that I was in love with Paul…and I failed to protect myself….I had a broken heart and I just ruined the only chance I had with the only person on the planet I deeply love and really care about.
I was terrified!
Later I heard someone say that “some people break down and others break OPEN.” That was the perfect description of what was happening to me. I broke open, and in that moment I felt a surge of love for Paul that I never felt before in my life, for him or anyone…I didn’t even know that love could feel like that!
It was like I was “awake” for the first time.
And I realized….if I can’t protect myself from the pain anyway, and it’s possible to feel LOVE like this every day, for the rest of my life, I have to go ALL IN! I have to jump in with both feet, be my real self. Living and loving this way would be worth whatever risk, whatever pain might come….and I can’t really protect myself from it anyway! In one moment I knew it was time to live my life and stop watching it go by in front of my while I’m trying to protect myself from getting hurt….it’s time to JUMP IN and really live! It was worth it….I was worth it!
So, I had this spiritual awakening…and I looked up, and there was Paul, looking at me…with this stunned look like “holy shit this is really not going well!” Clearly he was not having the same awakening as me!
Now, as you know, I was nick-named The Ice Princess at the time. And while I had this big shift in perspective, I still had ZERO relationship tools or skills to speak of.
You can judge me if you want for what I did next, but I did the only thing I could think of to do…I begged him.
Yes I did. I begged.
I told him that everything he said about us, about me, was all true and he was right…about all of it. Crying the whole time, I admitted that our relationship was crap, I had put up walls, I was half-assed from day one, I didn’t “need” him for anything, I was closed off….all of it was true.
And for the first time, I opened completely and poured my heart out to him…with the truth. None of that was the real me. I was done living half-assed, protecting and not really living in my own life. I told him I had NO idea how I was going to do it but I was 100% committed to get back to who I really was.
We laugh about it now, but at the time I asked him “please just give me a chance to play whole-assed…and then if you don’t love the real me, I will release you with love.”
Paul has said many times that in that moment, he had never experienced me so real, so raw, so vulnerable. He felt like he was experiencing me for the first time. And in that moment he could not continue with leaving me with the same certainty that he walked into the house with that night. So he gave me another chance.
And with that, I dove in! I studied every expert, read every book I could get my hands on, listened to audio programs and went to see speakers. I transformed myself. And my transformation had a huge impact on Paul.
Our relationship transformed in a huge way. And eventually, after a year, he came to me and said “Stacey, your transformation is inspiring me! Our relationship is NOTHING like it was before…what are you doing? What are you reading? I’m in!”
And from there, the two of us dove in and spent 15 years and multiple six figures studying with the best behaviorists, relationship experts, male and female researchers, peak psychology experts, and intimacy experts transforming our relationship into the unshakable love and unleashed passion we enjoy today!
Then we realized that so many people around us are struggling and suffering with the challenges in their relationship…we must share what we know works.
I’ve been training with Tony Robbins for over 20 years, you may have seen us together on QVC from time to time. So I decided to go back Tony and get trained and certified as a marriage educator, divorce preventionist, and strategic interventionist.
Paul and I invested two years figuring out how to take our multi-decade journey and teach this to you in a way that empowers you to transform your relationship quicker, easier and more effectively than it was for us….all in a way that it only takes YOU to transform any relationship you are in (your partner does not need to participate in the process for this to work for you)!
That’s how we created our 8-step formula to catapult your relationship to the next level, the Relationship Transformation System®. And now, it’s our pure delight and honor to have served tens of thousands of people around the world who are using our 8-step system to transform their relationships!
Today, through our online programs and live events, we are delighted to help people, just like you, create their life by design and stop living in a life by default!
For individuals who want to work with us every week, spend time with us and our Lovies a few times a year and have 24/7 support, love and guidance during their journey, Paul and I designed RelationshipU – the world’s only Relationship Development studies program for individuals who want to master their relationships!
When you do this work, your love relationship transforms, every time…guaranteed!
But the benefits of doing this work are so much more than that!
As a happy bonus, you get to bring the tools and strategies we teach you to all your relationships….your relationship with your kids, your clients & prospects, your team and co-workers, your family, friends, community…..and most importantly, your relationship with yourself!
Better relationships equal a better life!
Haha! With pleasure!
The truth is there is no such THING as relationship! You can’t hand me your relationship so I can fix it for you. And I can’t have a chat with your relationship. There is NO such THING as relationship.
But make no mistake….Better relationships equal a better life! Relationships are hugely important in life and they are impacting you every minute of every day!
Look at this list….
Relationship with your love, your kids, your family, your clients, your prospective clients, your team, your peers, your family, your friends.
WHO is the common denominator in that list?
You are the common denominator in every relationship in your life!
And the truth is….most people go through life focused on trying to control everything and everyone OUTSIDE of themselves and ignoring the one thing you will actually ever be able to control and master…YOURSELF!
And YOU are the common denominator in all your relationships!
You must master YOU!
And if it were just YOU in this world, you might be able to rock that shit and be pretty happy a good amount of the time.
But those damn other people in our lives just complicate the shit out of everything don’t they?! (hehe)
Yeah, the truth is, in this world, relationship is how things are done! From the moment you are born until you take your last breath, everything is relationship.
And when relationships are not TOUCHING your life, you are focusing on them… obsessing about them, having imaginary “discussions” in your head with another person, going over every detail of what happened in your head, planning what you are going to do or say the next time.
A LOT of your energy in your day is going into relationships with other people. Some of it is productive and creating the results you want. Some of it is destructive and causing you pain.
Here’s’ the KEY: YOUR level of development will dictate what these percentages are!
Relationship is YOU and how YOU RELATE to others in the world around you. That’s all relationship is!
So, when you learn how to master YOU and master how YOU RELATE to others in the world around you, you will master relationships!
It’s a SKILL and it can be LEARNED!
And better relationships equal a better life!
We don’t do any couple’s work, because couples work doesn’t work.
We work with individuals who want to master themselves and master how they relate to others in the world around them. Individuals who want to create their unshakable love and unleashed passion and live a life by design instead of a life by default.
Our clients typically fall into one of the following relationship descriptions:
- You are in a great committed relationship and are looking for even more passion and a deeper love with your partner….
- You are in a committed relationship and don’t want to end it, but with the way things are currently, you’re not sure you want to stay in it, either…
- You are in a loving or caring relationship but the passion has fizzled and you want to reignite the fire and excitement….
- You are single but want to be in a successful, loving and passionate relationship that’s right for you!
- You are heading for divorce, or already divorced, and want to repair the relationship with your former spouse so it is less painful and rough for you and your kids and you can successfully navigate a happy co-parenting arrangement.
For you and your love relationship (current or a future one):
- Design your compelling relationship vision with new eyes by identifying what you “must have” and what you “must NOT have” in your love life.
- Experience a shift in your perspective, that allows you to finally get unstuck and access the relationship you desire.
- See men, women, yourself, your partner and relationships differently than ever before by uncovering the false belief systems keeping you stuck and rewiring your blueprint from the perspective that will propel you to the relationship you design!
- Learn the strategies that will help you understand your partner, and yourself, like never before.
- Be one of the 1% of humans who understand the differences between men and women and how to work WITH those differences to create the relationship you really want!
- Get the secret tools for being loved for your most authentic self…and bring out the best and most authentic self in your partner too!
- Create a rock solid synergy to your relationship, so that you act as a team and STOP keeping score.
- Finally show up in your relationship without pleasing and without compromise and ironically enjoying a more magnificent love than you ever imagined possible!
- Experience the freedom and release of wiping the slate clean– entirely.
- For women stuck in your masculine, FINALLY experience a real life shift INTO your feminine energy! Feel yourself open and enjoy the authentic power and vulnerability it brings to reignite the passion in your relationship and invigorate youwith the life-force you have been missing!
- For men disconnected from your masculine, experience a rooted and powerful reconnection to your masculine energy and get the solution to anchor you to your mature masculine.Learn the step-by-step process to serve, protect and provide for your woman so you can allow her to release into her feminine and finally experience her consistent admiration for being her hero for life!
- Get the strategies for bringing the fun, dating and flirting back into your relationship…yes, even with the kids, the business and the house!
- Discover the secrets to sensuality that no one has ever told you! Get the strategic plan (yes, there’s a plan for that) forcreating a hot, passionate and intensely satisfying sex life that you never thought was possible for you and your partner…and then watch it get hotter as the years go on! This is the kind of “why the hell do we ever do anything else but this” kind of sex, that no one else is teaching you how to create with your lover!
For YOU and all your relationships:
- Learn the tools & strategies to maintain your high state in any situation.
- Reframe and rewire the triggers that currently cause you pain or upset.
- Learn the tools & strategies to understand yourself and everyone in your life in ways that you never have before.
- Seize a newfound burst of energy you’ll get from the renewed passion you have for your partner, and use that momentum to fuel you to the next level!
- Consistently raise your Resistance Set Point™ to get yourself unstuck and progressing forward in life and business!
- Reduce the frustrations and hurt feelings that come up as a part of everyday life with your partner, and in other relationships in your life and business.
- Learn how to trust yourself to make great decisions in every moment in your life and business.
- Release the need to control anyone or anything ever again since you have mastered how to trust yourself in every situation, and utilize whatever comes.
- Learn how to truly “forgive and forget,” allowing you to move past what’s been holding you back in your life and business.
- Re-align with your true masculine or feminine energy! Feel the authentic power from that energy as you bring that to your love and your life!
- Finally live your life by design instead of staying stuck in your life by default!
A relationship is changed by ONE person. It’s happening every day, all day long. You’ve experienced it a million times. We’ve just been so brain-washed with all the “it takes two to tango” and “you both have to work at it” crap that we forgot what we know.
So I’m going to help you UN-wash your brain!
Have you ever had a rockin’ day where you were “in the zone,” kicking ass, everything was awesome and you were “on fire”?
Yeah you have – you freakin’ rock that’s why!
And have you ever come home to your partner, or had your partner come home to you when you were “in the zone” and they were in a “shit state”? they are in the toilet, everything sucks, everything happens to them, life sucks and they are pissed at everything?
Sure you have!
What happens to your rockin’ state when your partner is in the toilet?
It tanks right? Yeah it does!
Nothing changed in YOUR world. And yet THEY shifted you!
So what happens next?
I’m guessing it’s something to the effect of an argument about how they are bringing you down, knocking you out of the “vortex,” killing your “zone” or something like that. Then they get defensive, telling you how you don’t understand, and you never understand….and next thing you know, the two of you are fighting about the TWO of you when this really had nothing to do with the two of you from the start.
You didn’t change. They change and they certainly shifted YOU didn’t they?
One partner is CONSTANTLY triggering the other partner!
Said differently, one partner is constantly changing the relationship!
This dynamic of triggering each other, reacting, triggering, reacting…is at play all day every day. Between you and your partner, and you and everyone else you have relationships with too.
All we are doing is empowering you with the tools and strategies to TRIGGER a better response from your partner!
Go ahead, trigger your partner….trigger the shit out of them….just trigger thee response you really want!! We will teach you how to trigger their best and most authentic self, and bring more of what you WANT to your relationship!
That’s why it only takes ONE partner to transform a relationship! They will shift in response to you showing up differently and interacting differently!
Can both partners participate in our programs, events and coaching?
Yes, of course!
But there will be no couples work, you will participate in the same process, event, program…but you will be doing so as individuals! You will have your own experience, work at your own pace and do this on your own…you will not work together!
It is incredibly beneficial when two people are getting the same educational and transformational experience. You both speak the same language, you understand what the other is working through, and you can support each other more effectively.
But it is NOT necessary for both partners to participate.
Over 90% of our clients and students around the world go through our programs and events without their partner ever participating!
As I often say, you want your partner to honor your authenticity and you have to honor theirs! Some people are not “personal development people” and some people are not wired to do this work in this modality (online or live event). And there’s nothing wrong with that!!! Honor your partner for where they are right now and DO THE WORK to create the change you want to experience!
Here’s the thing, this work is not something you do FOR your partner, it’s for YOU!
The relationship you currently have with your love partner is a relationship you created based on the level of self-mastery you have and the skill level you possess for interacting with a partner of the opposite core energy (masculine vs feminine).
No one teaches us the tools, strategies and skills to master how we relate to our partner! No one teaches us the differences between men and women and how to cherish the stuff that your partner does that is currently driving you nuts! No one teaches us how to create a rock-solid alignment where nothing and nobody can come between the two of you! No one teaches us how to create a hot, exciting and ravishing sex relationship when you are also parents, business owners, homeowners and busy like crazy!
These are skills, and they can be learned!!
There are two things I know sweetie.
You will take you with you to the next relationship. No matter what you do, this is your life. And whether you stay with your current partner for 100 years, or you leave and start a new relationship, you can’t skip learning these tools and strategies. I see it every day, people leave a relationship thinking “it’s my partner” and they go start a new relationship and about 6 months in they have the “holy shit, new face and same shit” revelation! The moment when you realize that it wasn’t YOUR partner, it was “all men or all women” and it’s YOU and your skill level of how you interact and the level of relationship that you are equipped to create. You have to do this work sweetie. With this partner or the next, you have to do the work.
It’s not just in your love relationship. I promise you! Think of a big struggle you are having in your love relationship. When we give you the solution to solve that with your partner…where else in your life will you find that solution useful? In what other relationships are you experiencing the same frustrations and disappointments? Your kids, your folks, your co-workers, team, clients, prospects, family, friends…yourself??
Stop measuring and score-keeping with your partner. It’s actually making you miserable to do so.
Around here, we have a different definition of BLAME. When you blame someone else, you are willingly handing over your power to another person.
Let me explain. When you blame someone, who is responsible? They are, right? And so WHO is the only one who has the power to change the situation? They do! And you have rendered yourself powerless!
So who are you currently giving all your power to by blaming them for a situation that is not currently the way you want it to be?
Empower yourself, and take action to master yourself and how you relate to the people in the world around you….for YOU!
The short answer is that our programs and events are nothing like couples therapy. We are not therapists, we are coaches and mentors.
You can do your own research on this, but currently studies are showing that more than 75% of couple’s therapy fails. And with good reason. Couples work doesn’t work. That’s why we don’t do any couples work.
That’s also why all our programs and events are strategically designed for ONE partner to participate.
It’s very rare that two people (in the same relationship) both want to work on the relationship, using the same modality, at the same time. And forcing that is a huge disaster…in fact, it is often fatal to the relationship.
Very often couples therapy fails because of one of two outcomes. Either both partners feel misunderstood by the therapist and the therapy fails. Or, more commonly, one partner feels completely understood and the other partner feels totally ganged up on and the therapy fails.
Unfortunately, that’s most often the “last straw” that ends the relationship. Most people don’t end up in couple’s therapy lightly. So when that fails, very often the spouse who didn’t want to do it or was doing it as a last resort, accepts the failed therapy as confirmation that it’s time to end the relationship. And that’s so sad.
Paul and I are coaches and mentors. And those are two different things.
As coaches, we are trained to hear a conversation that is not being spoken, help you break through the perceived obstacles, fears and limitations to achieve your desired outcome and shift your blueprint so that the change is lasting.
People can be excellent coaches and not be mentors! They can help you create breakthroughs to the outcome you choose, but they don’t have the expertise to teach you how to get to the outcome you want.
As mentors….we also have expertise to teach you.
Paul and I do NOT walk our talk…We “talk our walk”! We did it first and NOW we teach!
This is our journey. We transformed our relationship over the last 15 years. We didn’t do it so that we could teach others or build a business…we did it to save our marriage and create the lives we desired!
We invested multiple six figures to study and train with the world’s leading experts. We put in TENS of thousands of hours into our study. We have attained self-mastery and an extraordinary level of mastery in how we relate to others.
Not only do we teach you how to create what we have created – faster and easier (and cheaper) than it was for us….We live and demonstrate our unshakable love and unleashed passion for our students every day!