Love Will Thaw the Freeze…Lessons from Frozen (Part Three)

Wow! I cannot believe the number of people who have approached me to talk about FROZEN! This film has really made an impact! As well it should! Not only is it groundbreaking…but it resonates!

In that monumental moment when Ana throws herself in front of her sister’s body to sacrifice her own life to save her sister, Disney re-writes decades of misguided (well-intentioned) role models by flipping the switch on LOVE.

An act of TRUE LOVE happens when YOU GIVE YOUR LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY…even when you’ve been hurt and even when you are scared!!!!! – Stacey Martino

The greatest lesson in love…EVER!

True Love is when you GIVE your love freely…it’s not the love you give to get!

And yet, most of us walk around protecting ourselves every day from getting hurt by love!  Like the well-meaning TROLLS who warned Elsa to “conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know”, many of our well-intentioned “trolls” (guides/parents) warned us to protect ourselves from the PAIN of relationship.

At times, it was something they out-right told us… like “Don’t rely on any man” or “love doesn’t last”.

Other times it was that the well-intentioned “trolls” in our lives lived their lives as WARNINGS for us, not examples.  We didn’t want to experience the pain that we saw them go through so we VOWED to ourselves to NEVER let that happen to us…and we lived the opposite life.

It’s so interesting to me that when we live in-defiance of the “example” in our life…that “example” still controls us. 

But, like Elsa, what if they were wrong?

What if protecting yourself from the HURT of LOVE is not the goal? What if your whole life you have been running in the opposite direction of what you truly want?

You are protecting yourself from getting hurt by love, but True Love happens when you give your love UNCONDITIONALLY!

When you put up walls to protect yourself from hurt…you shut the good out with the bad!  So you are protecting yourself from feeling True Love!

What if, like Ana, even when you were scared of getting hurt, you stayed OPEN and LOVED anyway???

Here’s the secret sweetie.  You can’t prevent the hurt anyway, it doesn’t work that way! But when you CLOSE, you prevent yourself from feeling the LOVE that YOU were going to GIVE in that moment!  Your True Love!  You miss it when you CLOSE!

Like Ana, when you stay open and GIVE your love freely, even if you get hurt…the LOVE you feel from the love you GIVE makes the hurt tolerable in that moment!  But if you CLOSE and you never give your love…and you feel the hurt anyway…that’s what CRUSHED feels like!

No one can take away the feeling of LOVE that you get to feel when you GIVE your love! ONLY YOU can take that away from yourself!

If you want true love my darling, like Glenda the good witch tells Dorothy…the power was within you the whole time!  GIVE YOUR LOVE…even when you are scared, even when you might get hurt…stay open and give your love freely!

That’s living fully!  That’s passionate!

Yes, it’s vulnerable. And yes, sometimes you will get hurt (emotionally) but it will not kill you. And you need this. It’s part of your Relationship Development. If you want to get to an unshakable love and an unleashed passion you must be willing to OPEN yourself up to this level of vulnerability and giving love freely! It’s a requirement!
You can’t play it safe, close, and protect yourself in your ice tower AND have a magnificent love affair! It doesn’t work that way!

You must be courageous enough to be OPEN and VULNERABLE and GIVE your love even when you are scared, and even when the little “ego” voice in your head is telling you that you are a schmuck for being loving after whatever just happened…..you must still GIVE your LOVE (like Ana who loves her sister even after she “freezes” Ana’s heart).

Elsa’s BIG MISTAKE!

Something that no one talks about from that AMAZING song “Let It Go!”….Elsa makes a HUGE mistake during that song…did you catch it?

Yes, she triumphs and finally embraces who she really is…and that is awesome! But did you catch her “over-correction”? She did what SO many people do when they have finally had ENOUGH! They over-correct.

She refuses to be held down any more, she defy’s what everyone wanted her to be and frees herself…(all awesome) and then, in one little line, you get a glimpse into her BIG over-correction!

Let it go, let it go
I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go
You’ll never see me cry
Here I stand
And here I’ll stay
Let the storm rage on

Do you see it?

“You’ll never see me cry”

Over Correction.

And it’s not just Elsa. It’s me, it’s you, it’s most women.

When we have finally had ENOUGH, when we have been pushed TOO FAR, we will break free and scream “Here I Stand!” but then we will go too far into protection and basically declare “And fuck everybody else!” You know what I mean…..we stand our ground AND put up big walls at the same time telling others F it! I don’t care if you like me or not!

Have you seen Elsa’s walls? (hehe) They were pretty f’in big!

How about yours?

Have you been pushed too far? Did you finally hit the ENOUGH point?
And are there nice big icy walls around your heart that keep you locked away from everyone and everything?

Elsa thought her icy tower could protect her too….she even planted a snow beast outside to scare people off. But Elsa quickly learns that isolation and shutting people out is not really living and it’s not the answer. (it was an over-correction)

The tower didn’t actually protect her from anything and in the end, it all fell apart…..

Elsa was forced, like many of us, to get into the mess and do the work. To learn how to be who she really was AND navigate relationships with others AND risk getting hurt.

Eventually, Elsa learns the ultimate lesson in love in the last moment of the movie. Inspired by her sister, she finally gets her answer….LOVE WILL THAW THE FREEZE!

LOVE my darling…it melts all pain!

GIVE your love…stop waiting to GET it and go GIVE it!

Sending love,

Stacey
Former Ice Princess turned Sunshine! (LOVE thawed my freeze!)