As we approach the holiday season and all the family and friends around us, it can sometimes be a stressful time….with people that drive us a little wack-a-doodle. Instead of letting that “crazy aunt betty” ruin your holiday cheer, empower yourself with the tool that we created to enable you to breeze through any situation with love & grace!
In today’s article I’m teaching you the Right Hand/Left Hand tool that I created years ago to empower my clients to manage the different groups of people in their lives and strengthen all relationships!
I teach this tool to help my clients, who are growing and transforming, better manage their relationships with their friends and family who are not growing and transforming. But you can apply this same tool to creating more peace and harmony when spending time with friends and family members who may stress you out over the holidays….
Ever come back from a phenomenal personal development event or program and feel like “no one in my regular life gets me?”
I’ve spent the last two decades in the personal development field and coached countless people who are on the path of personal development. One thing I’ve noticed, repeatedly, was the struggle that people on the personal development path had assimilating back into the “muggle world” (regular world).
I noticed a pattern as people came back into their every-day life, where one of two things would happen. Either they would spew unwanted personal development stuff all over the people around them, or worse, they would go back to playing small so as not to alienate the people close to them.
This breaks my heart. So, I created a tool to help my clients maintain their long lasting breakthroughs AND cultivate their personal relationships at the same time! Because YES, you can have it all!!
First, let me explain, that there are two groups of people in your life today.
The first group consists of the people in your life who GROW with you. They hold you to a higher standard, challenge you to be the best version of yourself and will reach out and pull you up to your next level.
The other group of people in your life is your friends and family. They are the people who love you and have known you the longest. They are NOT on the personal development path right now.
Pain happens when you interact with your friends and family, as if they are part of that first group (those who grow with you) and you share your growth and development work with them.
I understand. It’s not easy to watch the people in your life suffer when you know you have a distinction that can help them.
But what you are missing is the flip-side of that interaction. It’s also painful for your friends and family.
While you are coming from the most loving of intentions, when you offer unwanted personal growth, what your friends and family actually hear is “I guess you don’t think I’m good enough the way I am.”
They feel rejected.
So you both end up feeling bad. And the relationship gets strained. This is where too many people, end up distancing themselves from people they just don’t know how to “be” with.
I created a tool called Right Hand/Left Hand to help my clients integrate long lasting change into their lives in a way that enhances their personal relationships too! Here’s how it works:
Put your hands out in front of you, palms up.
In your left hand is the people you grow with. When you are in your Left Hand, you get support, validation, growth and personal development.
In your right hand is your Friends and Family. You only go to your right hand to GIVE! GIVE unconditional love and compassion to each and every one of them! You are a force for good in their lives!
You go to your left hand to GET, and out of that growth, YOU have the potential to GIVE unconditionally to your friends and family!
Left Hand = You go to GROW
Right Hand = You go to GIVE
Most people will go through their entire lives never having anyone give them unconditional love and compassion for exactly who they are. You have the ability within you to be that person for your friends and family! Don’t sell yourself short and distance yourself. Step in!
How does this relate to the holiday season stress?
When you are interacting with the friends and family who have a tendency to trigger you or cause you stress…remember, they are in your Right Hand.
Your job is to give unconditional compassion…that’s it! Stop looking for their validation, you don’t need them to “get” you and you certainly don’t need to engage in any debates over stuff that you don’t agree on. Just give compassion!
Show up to give!
When you show up looking to give, with no expectation of how they will interact with you in return…it diffuses the negative energy right out of the interaction for you and you can enjoy your holidays stress free!!
And that is the key to constantly growing and developing while enhancing the relationships in your life—so you can be the best version of yourself and have the greatest relationships with the people you love too!
17 thoughts on “Are you ready for that holiday family drama? This will help!”
Brilliant, Stacey! What a great mindshift in how to interact with others that are not on the same growth trajectory. I love it and will be using this often during this holiday season.
Oh. My. God. That is AWESOME wisdom! Wow, do I need this … for the holidays and every day. Thank you so much!
I'm so thrilled that you're sharing your tool on your blog, Stacey! Ever since you generously shared it with me a month ago I've been telling everyone about it, I love it SO much!! Now I can direct folks here to get all of your awesome wisdom in the perfect package — such a gift!! xxoo
Left Hand – Right Hand … I LOVE this exercise Stacey! You taught me this when I went to my family with some HUGE, CELEBRATORY news and got a "meh" response… You are a gift and a treasure to the world my beautiful friend! XO
Left Hand – Right Hand … I LOVE this exercise Stacey! You taught me this when I went to my family with some HUGE, CELEBRATORY news and got a “meh” response… You are a gift and a treasure to the world my beautiful friend! XO
So glad this serves you so well Stacey!!! You are an angel! Thank you for helping us serve so many!!
Awesome Lisa!!! I'm thrilled to serve you Goddess!!!! And you are also a gift to ME and the world! XO
Awesome Loni! I'm thrilled this serves you sweetie!!!! So glad to know you will use it this season!! Enjoy!!!!
Thank you for this article, Stacey. This was my huge aha from the relationship breakthrough retreat… to CONSCIOUSLY cultivate the people in my left hand and not expect validation from people in my right hand, but rather, to show up unconditionally for them. Now my life seems fuller, connected and more expanded coz I broke free of my small world and learned to reach out. You are amazing. I love you.
Such a powerful gift you are sharing. I hear from so many women in my audience who are struggling with this. The Left Hand – Right Hand tool is a simple yet powerful tool. I tuned into your call on this topic and have been sharing it since. (((HUGS)))
Just Awesome !!!!!!!!! Simple & elegant!
Wonderful Linda!!! So glad this serves you! Thank you for sharing!
Wonderful Tess!!!!! That is so beautiful! I'm so thrilled for you!!! Love you too sweetness!
<3 Thank you Angela!
Thank you. Love this article and ever so timely! ❤
You are so welcome Mariona! You are doing great work already!
You are so welcome!
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