Have you ever noticed the difference between GIVING and PLEASING?
Here’s the key: on the outside, the action you’re taking can look exactly the same… but the energy behind it is completely different – and it’s always going to get you a different result.
Everyone has an emotional GPS inside… an emotional guidance system* that’s hard-wired to guide you in the direction you want to go.
Your emotions are always giving you a clue as to whether what you’re about to do will produce the result you want… or not.
And guess what? The Universe always delivers an exact match for your energy!
So if you take an action from an energy of GIVING (from positive emotion), the result you’ll experience from that action is going to keep you in that positive emotion.
PLEASING, on the other hand, comes out of negative emotion.
Because by definition, when you’re PLEASING, you’re doing something you DON’T want to do, just to try to please somebody else.
(You’re almost doing it IN SPITE of what you’re guided to do…)
And that is FIRMLY on the negative side of emotions.
You can be doing an action with the best of intent, but if the energy behind it is to please someone else…
Because you’re acting from negative emotion, the result you’re going to get back is going to keep you in negative emotion, so it’s not going to be as effective as you would like.
Guess what else happens when you go into an action that is PLEASING?
It TRIGGERS you.
Here’s the KEY… the BOOMERANG emotion of PLEASING is….
Pleasing is Demand Relationship, and Demand Relationship always breaks down the relationship. You feel bad because you didn’t act in integrity with your authentic self. They feel your negativity and don’t understand why…
No one is happy afterwards and then….
BOOMERANG … you feel RESENTFUL!
Because you only did this to please them and it didn’t work – they’re not pleased!
And when resentment builds over time, it’s the KISS OF DEATH in relationship, because it breaks everything down and you lose your mojo for doing the work!
So what’s the answer?
Stop right now!
In your love relationship, your family relationships, your work relationships…
STOP doing things from an energy of PLEASING.
If you’re about to take an action, check in with yourself: Is this truly GIVING because I want to and it’s coming from positive emotion? Yes? Then go ahead.
If not… STOP. Do the internal work until you are completely congruent with acting from a giving space and positive emotion.
What has been your experience with PLEASING and RESENTMENT? What do you commit to do differently TODAY to commit to GIVING in all of your relationships to transform your life? Hit reply and let me know!
Sending love to you,
Stacey & Paul
* P.S. So I learned about the Emotional Guidance System from the book, Ask and It is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks. It is an incredible book. It’s not for everyone… but if you are into Laws of the Universe, it’s a MUST read!