Not having much hot sex lately, huh?


I hear it’s going around!

Really good people, with good intentions, are hanging out together in a NICE relationship….great parents, good roommates even….but the hot steamy ravishing and satisfying sex is not happening anymore.

Maybe you tell yourself “I don’t need that,” “that’s not really important,” or “I can live without it”….and you stay in a passion-less relationship for the good of the family.

I understand….Paul and I used to really struggle to have a passionate love life! 

I know it may be difficult to believe that, since today we can barely keep our hands off of each other and regularly find ourselves having to “dial down” the lust and desire we have for each other when other people are around.

But it wasn’t always like this. Actually, we had it WORSE than most…we didn’t have that hot steamy sexual beginning that so many couples have. We were best friends for 3 years before we started dating …so we never had that electric, hot, butterflies start to our dating relationship.  And I didn’t think I “needed” that.

Of course, back then I was fooling myself about a lot of other things in my life too!

PASSION is the Life-Force of your relationship!

Without it, your relationship is dying!

Here’s the really ironic part…

The lack of hot sex in your relationship is not the problem, it’s the SYMPTOM that shows up as a result of the real problem!

Unfortunately, many people get stuck focusing their attention on the symptoms in the relationship (lack of passion, arguing, distance, hurt, disappointment) and the CAUSES of these symptoms never get handled to turn things around.

It’s oh so enticing to focus on the symptom…but until you handle the cause, your relationship can’t change!

Let me explain…

Imagine that you walk into a room in your home on a 25 degree day and find a window open. It feels really freezing cold in that room from the window being open. Solution? You could bring in a space heater to provide extra heat to that room. Sound ridiculous?

Focusing on the lack of hot SEX (symptom) as the problem in your relationship is like focusing on how cold it is in that room, instead of focusing on the OPEN window causing the cold….and closing that window!

That’s why I often say…

Sex problems are RARELY sex problems!

If your sex life is not what you want it to be, the actual “problem” is rarely a sex problem.

Paul and I created the Relationship Transformation System®, our 8-step system designed to empower you to transform your relationship, create your unshakable love and unleashed passion, all in a way that you can transform your relationship without needing your partner to participate in the process for you to get the results you want in your relationship.

Sensuality (sex) is Step Eight of our eight step system. It’s last.


Because, for a woman, the gateway to ravishing intimacy and satisfying sex is vulnerability!

If you are not experiencing unleashed passion in your relationship right now, it’s because you are not willing to be as vulnerable as is required to reach that level of passion with your man.

The kind of unleashed passion I’m talking about is not “nice lovemaking” –  it’s intense, electric, exciting, driven by desire, ravishing, satisfying sex! The kind of sex where your man “takes you” over and over again, going to new levels of ecstasy, intensity, and experience that you never knew was possible.  This kind of unleashed passion requires a high level of trust and vulnerability with your man. Can you feel that?

Trusting that he has your best interest at heart, completely surrendering to him so you can experience the heights of intense passion that come from letting go of it all, releasing control, getting out of your brain, and allowing yourself to receive pleasure you can’t even prepare yourself for…that’s vulnerability!

And if you want that unleashed passion…you must be willing to embrace the vulnerability that is required to have that with the man you love!

How can you access the trust and vulnerability you need??

That’s what the first 7 steps of the Relationship Transformation System® are designed to do!

Because reaching the level of trust and vulnerability that is required to unleash your passion together requires that you…


Get clear on what you really want from your relationship


Shift your perspective so you can get unstuck


Learn the strategies that will help you understand your partner like never before


Discover how to implement a newfound synergy to your relationship so that you act as a TEAM and stop keeping score


Start Anew by wiping the slate clean…entirely


Follow a tested path to ignite the SPARKS and real passion back into your relationship


Find out how you can start “dating” your partner again so you can keep the energy going


and THEN, you will be able to experience the kind of trust required and reach the level of vulnerability required to learn how to bring the sensuality back in your relationship and give it a much needed boost of energy and lust.

If you are not yet experiencing the unleashed passion you desire…most likely the source of your challenges is in Steps 1 – 7…it’s not a ‘sex’ problem!

Lack of hot sex is a symptom…the cause is in Steps 1-7!

When you master these 8 relationship transformation essentials…Sooner than you think, you will be asking your partner “remind me again why we ever do anything else other than have sex!?”

Paul and I created a brand new three-part Reignite Your Passion video series giving you all 8 Steps of the Relationship Transformation System® and the tools & strategies you need to bring the passion back!

Watch that video here:


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