Say YES…then figure out the HOW later!

Say YES…then figure out the HOW later!

I know you’ve heard that before…and you might be thinking “I already know that!” but are you LIVING it when it’s tough???

There’s an easy way to figure it out….when was the last time you said NO? When was the last time you knew you should do something, but you didn’t? When was the last time you chose not to ask for what you really wanted?

Those are all ways that you are not saying YES and figuring out the HOW later!


Saying YES when you cannot see the HOW is a hell of a lot more difficult than just saying YES!

But if you want a magnificent life….you must say YES to the opportunities that take you closer to what you really want, the ones that just feel SO right and SO scary at the same time…..the ones that you WANT to say yes to but they scare you big time! Those are EXACTLY the opportunities that you are supposed to say YES to and figure out the HOW later!

Look, let’s just be honest. Let’s say that I ask you, can you go pick up this “thing” for me at this “place”?  You have never been there before, but it’s only about 30 minutes from where you live, you have a GPS and you will pretty much be able to figure it out. You can say yes to that. Perhaps you have never done it before, but you pretty much know HOW already. That’s NOT the kind of situation I’m talking about here!

I’m talking about the situation where someone asks you if you would like to be the keynote speaker at an event that would be incredible exposure for you. They are not paying you to speak, you have to fly yourself across the country and you haven’t done a keynote speech yet, but they believe in your message. The audience is full of people that you know you can make a difference for and would be ideal clients for you. They ask you if you want to accept.

Saying YES may not be quite so easy huh?

The self talk begins….

  • Who are you to be the keynote speaker?
  • If you say yes, they are just going to discover that you really don’t have what it takes
  • You can’t afford to fly yourself out there
  • If they don’t pay you, are you just giving your stuff away?
  • There’s no REAL business opportunity here….I mean, there’s no guarantee that anyone there will ever work with you
  • You would have to move “paying” client work to accommodate those dates
  • Your kids are not going to be happy if you are away overnight again
  • Your partner won’t be happy if you ask him/her to “cover” for you at home again
  • Maybe your peers will question whether this is a good thing at all…I mean, you aren’t being paid
  • If they discover you are a fraud and drop you, what will you tell people?
  • Maybe don’t tell anyone, because this way if it doesn’t work out, you won’t be disappointed or embarrassed

On, and on, and on!

Any of this sound familiar?

This is the self-talk that talks you right out of saying YES when you cannot see the HOW!

And the opportunities that are GIVEN to you that are designed to take you outside of your current comfort zone (into your next level) are usually opportunities where you do not know the HOW! Let’s face it, if you knew “the how” it would be within your current comfort zone.

So, you have asked for a new level, something MORE than what you have now, the opportunity presents itself. It feels “uncomfortable” because you can’t see the HOW.

If you say YES, you have the opportunity to go into your next level AND the risk that NOTHING may come of it.

If you say NO, you know what you get….more of the old comfort zone, more of the same. But this time, as you are yearning for more, that old comfort zone is starting to feel smaller and tighter!

This is exactly the kind of situation that calls for saying YES and figuring out the HOW later!

It’s not as easy as it sounds…is it?

So, now I ask you…when was the last time you said YES knowing you would have to figure out the HOW later because you had no freakin’ clue how you were going to pull that off???

It happened to me this morning!

Someone told me that the Steve Harvey Show was looking for transformation stories from people who feel their lives were transformed by Tony Robbins! They were looking for stories and their request was “if your transformation story is bigger than mine, maybe I’ll submit you instead of me!”


All kinds of self-talk could come up around that!

  • I don’t know if my story is bigger than yours.
  • I don’t want my story to be bigger than yours, I want to celebrate you.
  • Who am I to say my story is bigger?

The Show was looking for transformation stories so they could surprise Tony with a thank you from someone whose life was really impacted by him. Tony is on a huge book tour right now and I know how important this promotion is for him to reach more people and serve in a bigger way. I wasn’t about to let my “fear” hold me back.

I wrote my story. I sent it to this lovely woman with a note that said “I have no idea if my transformation is bigger than yours, but if my story serves you, Tony, or the Steve Harvey Show, I’m always happy to be of service and will do whatever is needed!”

Within the hour, the producer of the Steve Harvey Show reached out to me!

Holy Crap!

To move forward with this I needed to shoot a specific video, submit specific kind of photos and write my answers to 5 questions.

Ok, I’m looking at the time…it’s 8:15 am. My coaching day starts at 9 am. This is not very convenient timing, but I’m not going to let that stop me!

I setup my phone, shoot the video, pick the pictures that match the criteria and write my answers to the questions. I hit the send button at 8:59 am! Whew!

Two hours later the producer calls me. He’s excited about submitting me for consideration to the Executive Producer team. He just needs to confirm that if I am selected, I can fly in tomorrow (Wednesday) to be in the studio with them all day Thursday!

Knowing full well that my Wednesday and Thursday are so fully booked that I do not even have 30 minutes open on my calendar I say “Yep, we will make that happen!”

Meanwhile, I’m calling Paul, my best friend, and the peeps in my mastermind group sharing my excitement and the thrilling news of this opportunity!!!!!

Mind you, at this point, I am fully excited, jumping up and down and just elated.

For WHAT? Nothing has happened. They may not pick me…right?

So why am I “getting my hopes up” as someone might say?

HOLY CRAP ON A CRACKER!!!! Why the hell not!?!

SO I might not get picked! SO it may turn out to be nothing! SO I may actually get picked and be on the show and still nothing may come of that opportunity!


In every great YES outside my comfort zone there is a RISK!

But it’s not a life and death risk my friend! It’s just an emotional risk!

The producer of the show asked me one question that sums this up. He said “what one quote or training from Tony would you say is your life mantra”?


“Everything happens for a reason and a purpose and it serves you!” – Tony Robbins

It’s painted on our office wall over the entry door…. 4 feet wide!  I LIVE by that quote and this is where the rubber meets the road!

I believe that saying YES at every step of this journey has already served me! Whether it’s this opportunity or something better, I leave that to G-d to decide!

My job is to say YES, take massive action and keep moving forward! My job is also to LOOSELY drive and know that my creator is actually driving this…not me!

I have FAITH that all is exactly as it should be. Whether I end up on the Steve Harvey Show or not is actually not the GOAL.

The goal is always who I become on the journey to the outcome…not the outcome itself!

It’s not about being on the Steve Harvey Show, it’s about enjoying the excitement, the fun, and the growth of the experience!!  This takes emotional fitness and peak psychology….and it is SO worth it!!

How does this apply to your relationship?

You want to create that rock solid alignment where nothing and nobody can come between you?  You want a ravishing and steamy hot sex life where you crave your partner and feel that electric energy all day???

Are you saying YES to going ALL-IN with your partner? Are you saying YES to being vulnerable and throwing yourself into your relationship? Are you saying YES to being the ONE who transforms your relationship, even if your partner is not interested in being part of that transformation process?

SAY YES! And figure out the HOW later!

One of my mentors Fabienne Fredrickson once said “When that ideal referral partner agrees to go to lunch with you, you tell them that you will get on a plane and fly in to take them out to lunch!”

Saying YES today is my version of flying in to take that yummy partner to lunch!

Now it’s your turn!

Are you ready to say YES to your relationship and make it what you really want it to be??

Sending love,


p.s. I’ll let you in on a little secret… don’t even have to figure out the HOW later….Paul and I already did it for you!  Are you ready? Give us a call or send us an email and let’s setup a chat! I wanna hear more about your situation and see if I can help! (215-600-1720 X109 or [email protected])

6 thoughts on “Say YES…then figure out the HOW later!

  1. Hey Stacey loved this blog post and fingers crossed for you! But, as you say, the goal is who you become on the journey, not the outcome, love that!

  2. Love your energy in this blog, Stacey! It is all so true – saying Yes, following intuition, letting G-d drive, holding it all loosely, looking at the process as your growth… I have started talking in dif. communities about these same issues to women here. Obviously, this is something G-d wants to say to the world, because it is coming out all over the place! Love this article (and tying it in to relationships is SOOO true – how often as women do we shrink instead of letting our man serve us…? Here's to saying YES)!

  3. Stacey,

    YES!!!!! Saying yes to new experiences and opportunities as you did is how we stay aligned with Divine flow… Your story and journey are a powerful example of the transformation our lives and relationships take when we say Yes!,, xoxo

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