Ok, ladies… time for some straight talk.
Tell me the honest truth…
When your man empties the dishwasher – ONCE – and expects to be praised for that… what’s your reaction?
If you’re like most women, you’re thinking, “What, you want a cookie for that? One time? I’ve done it 545 times already THIS MONTH…”
But what happens when you walk up to him while he’s in the middle of a project to say, “Wow, honey, you’re doing such a great job – I appreciate you!”…?
I’m guessing he just turns around and says, “I’m not done yet.”
It all comes down to one of the KEY differences between men and women.
Men want to be appreciated for a RESULT.
They finished a thing and now they want to be celebrated. Give that man a cookie!
Yes, even for unloading the dishwasher once!
Because when you don’t show him appreciation for that result, the message he’s getting is, “Huh… she doesn’t care about my unloading the dishwasher – guess I won’t do that again! I can’t win here!”
Withholding that appreciation is getting you the OPPOSITE result of what you want!
Here’s how women are different…
Women may like to be appreciated, but our real need is to be CHERISHED.
In spite of all our shit and mistakes and failures.
No result, I fucked it up, and it’s possibly even worse than when I started… Please cherish me anyway.
Women want to be CHERISHED. Not because of the DOERS that we are…
but because of the BEINGS that we are.
So when you try to show appreciation for your husband by cherishing him before he gets the result…
He feels like he’s being treating like an incompetent child who needs encouragement.
See, men just don’t do that.
Does a man cherish a buddy for who he is, without a result? Even if he made things worse??
Oh wow, all the effort you put into that… it was beautiful to watch. You moved me, man!
Does it make sense now why a man would never offer encouragement like that to a woman he deeply respects for the powerhouse that she is?
If he doesn’t understand that her core driving need is to be cherished no matter what, he’s not going to give her what she needs to feel appreciated.
Even with the best of intentions, men and women trigger each other unknowingly… because they just do NOT understand how their partner is wired.
If you expect your man to think, do, and be “like you”… you are going to be WILDLY disappointed, frustrated, sad, and pissed off! (And vice versa for men who expect their woman to think, do, and be like them.)
Does this sound familiar? Are you and your partner both trying to show appreciation but COMPLETELY missing the boat on how each of you prefers to receive appreciation? Try showing them appreciation in the way they’re WIRED… and then shoot me a reply to this email and tell me what changes you noticed!
You are loved and appreciated,