There’s something a lot of personal development coaches, life coaches — all kinds of coaches — go on and on about, and it drives me CRAZY.
I’m sure you’ve heard it a million times, too, and here it is:
When you start a new endeavor to better yourself, there are people in your life who aren’t going to come with you on your new journey…so you should cut them out of your life.
That is such bullshit!!
It’s true, there are people in your life who love you, support you and want the best for you, but they may not get whatever it is you’re doing.
And sometimes we do have a toxic person in our life…someone who, no matter what we say or do, is completely negative, doesn’t support us and is caught up in a pattern of being miserable, angry or grouchy — whatever it is for them.
And in order to protect ourselves, we need distance between us and them.
But don’t confuse toxic people for friends and family who love and support you and just aren’t at the same place you are.
Paul and I teach our Relationship Transformers a tool we created called Right Hand/Left Hand™.
It allows them to move forward on their journey WITHOUT abandoning all the people who love them.
Here’s how Right Hand/Left Hand™ works:
Friends and family are in your Right Hand. These are people who generally support you (even though you might disagree plenty) and they do want the best for you. They’re just not on the same development or growth journey as you are (they don’t really “get” you). Simply put, usually, YOU have changed (growing) and they have NOT (and they may have liked it better before you “changed”).
Left Hand people are your peer group, your tribe, the ones you GROW with and they are on the same kind of growth or development journey as you. You’re growing and learning with these people. They challenge you to aspire higher, and when you feel like backsliding, they’re right behind you with a kick in the ass, saying, “No, I’m not going to let you give up. Keep going!” (like our tribe of Relationship Transformers – they’ve got your back, night and day!)
Handling and interacting with people in your Right Hand (friends and family) the way you would handle and interact with the people in your Left Hand (your peers, tribe) leads to pain for both of you.
You end up feeling like they don’t get or support you, and they end up feeling like you’re judging them, telling them what to do and implying they’re not good enough.
The Right Hand/Left Hand™ tool, helps you navigate relationships so that ALL relationships can thrive!
- Know which HAND you are in before you speak/interact.
- Know your ROLE with each group of folks.
When you are with your Left Hand peeps – go ahead, share, validate, challenge, engage… talk about “all the things”!
When you are with your Right Hand peeps… know your ROLE!
- Lead by example
- Give unconditional compassion for exactly where they are now, with no judgement
Yep, that’s it. SHUT UP and give unconditionally.
When you use this simple tool, you can watch all your relationships thrive!
NOW, a key piece here… if you don’t have a SOLID group of peeps in your Left Hand (your tribe), you better GET some! Because if you are not being regularly supported by an amazing tribe, you will NOT be able to just show up to GIVE to your Friends & Family group!
Need an amazing TRIBE to fill your Left Hand group?? Join our tribe of Relationship Transformers™!
Join our 14DayBoost program (we start today, so today is the LAST day to join) 14DayBoost.com and join the hundreds of Relationship Transformers on this journey with you, who are happy to support you each day!
Do not cut your friends and family out of your life just because you’re on the Relationship Development® path.
I know it’s hard. You hear them complain about the same thing for the millionth time, and you know exactly what it takes to solve that problem because you’ve done it in your own life.
But if they’re not ready, they’re not ready. That doesn’t mean you should cut them out of your life!
Your friends and family have a gift to give you…and that gift is the opportunity to practice unconditional love, without judgment.
Your Relationship Transformer™ community is here to celebrate your breakthroughs with you, and give you that kick in the pants when you need it. Lean on us!
Don’t Miss Out! We start TODAY! It’s just $47 (to fewer holiday kerfuffles and more JOY and Peace). Sign Up: 14DayBoost.com
We’re here for you,