Transforming Your Relationship: The Power of Living Authentically

Transform Your Relationship: The Power of Living Authentically

Stacey’s “Transform Your Relationship” column can be seen in every issue of Aspire Magazine at AspireMag.net

Our journey is very purposeful

From birth on, we are always learning the lessons. The universe is always guiding us, giving us opportunities to grow and teaching us everything we will need to one day live out our purpose, and heed our calling.

All the pain, the challenges, the breakdowns…they were all to teach us our life lessons and prepare us to be ready for the purpose and calling we are here to live.

It would be helpful if any of us knew that (or better yet, believed it) during our youth.

But we don’t. We just see our problems as “problems” and our challenges as things we wish would go away.

When we get older

It’s not until we are older, wiser and awakened do we finally come to the universal truth that everything in life is happening FOR you, not TO you. Every problem is bringing you the solution you asked for. Every challenge is teaching you the next piece you need to live your purpose. Every adversary is your angel in disguise helping you grow into the version of yourself that can have all your dreams and beyond.

Many people go through life never awakening to this Universal Truth.

But for those of us that are blessed to “wake up”, the reward is living a purposeful life!

Your purposeful life is unique to you. It’s not the same as mine or anyone else’s. It’s the life that has meaning for you. The one that is fulfilling and aligned for you.

What is your purpose?

So, what is your purpose and how do you live your purpose? Great questions!

First, let me crush the myth of what it is NOT. I think that too many people get STUCK on trying to figure out their “purpose” because they think it’s a “thing they are supposed to do” or a “job they are supposed to do”.

Your purpose is not a “thing to do” or a “job”.

Your purpose is about BE-ing who you are.

Living your purpose is about living as your best and most authentic self….no matter what. Said differently, your purpose is when YOU become in alignment with the YOU that you really are.

The power of living authentically

When you are living from your authentic self you can stop being who you thought you had to be to please others. You can stop doing what you think you ‘should’ do to protect yourself from your fears. You can stop whatever it is you do to escape the pain and discomfort that you feel, and you can stop for whatever ’it’ is that you are waiting for to “be happy”.

Living your purpose is about being in alignment with your best and most authentic self, every day.

Now, this does not mean that you can just “be who you are” and screw everyone else. That’s not being your BEST and most authentic self.

It means that you Do The Work!

Cultivate and grow yourself into the BEST version of yourself that you can be. Be the version of yourself that you are proud of. Be the YOU who you admire. Be the YOU, that you love every day.

It’s simple, yes, but not so easy.

That’s by design.

If it were easy, everyone would be living in alignment with their purpose and leading very fulfilled lives. But unfortunately, it’s quite rare to find those people who are living as their best and most authentic selves…. rooted in their purpose and living a life by design.

But it’s SO worth it.

This is The Work of your life.

It will require that you walk straight through your fears. Step directly into vulnerability. Harness your courage. Learn the big lessons. Feel the pain and keep going. GROW. Stop making it all about you and start serving others. Breakthrough your challenges. Dream a huge dream and blow right past it. Live BIG and shine bright.

How do you do it?

Live in alignment.

Emotional Guidance Scale
Emotional Guidance Scale created by Esther & Jerry Hicks, from the book “Ask and it is Given”

See, you have come to this planet equipped with your own compass to guide you to live “in alignment”
with your best and most authentic self. In the amazing book, Ask and It is Given by Jerry and Esther Hicks, Abraham explains this internal compass as your Emotional Guidance Scale (EGS).

Your emotions are always giving you a clue as to whether or not you are “in alignment” with the YOU that you truly are in any given moment. The Emotional Guidance System has 22 emotions listed on it, ranging from the highest vibration emotions down to the lowest vibration emotions. If you are feeling emotions between Number 1 and Number 8, on the scale, you are in-alignment. If you are feeling emotions between Number 9 and Number 22, you are out of alignment with yourself.

Take a look at the Emotional Guidance Scale. Where are the emotions that you feel most often in a day? That will tell you if you are living your purpose or if you are off-track.

Day to day, using the EGS is one of the greatest tools you can have to start to live your life “in alignment” with your best and most authentic self. When you do, you will feel the difference!

It won’t be easy. Your fears will want you to go back to your old ways. That’s where the vulnerability and courage comes in. That’s why I say “live as your best and most authentic self, no matter what.” The tough stuff…that’s the “what”.

As you live in alignment with your purpose (being your best and most authentic self), your true life journey will unfold before your eyes. That’s where you will begin to see the things you are meant to DO and the legacy you are meant to leave. That’s when your calling will find you.

The difference between “purpose” and “calling

I think perhaps many people confuse your “purpose” with your “calling.” Your purpose is who you are being. Your calling is what you are doing. And your calling, the things you do, will change as you go through your journey. But each calling, will align with your purpose. Each calling will feel like it “fits” as the next step in your journey of living your purpose. And each calling will help you grow into an even better and most authentic version of yourself. The only YOU we have.

Sometimes, when the opportunities are presented to you for what calling to do next, they will scare the crap out of you. Good. You are on the right path. And that’s your next step! It’s supposed to scare the crap out of you.

If your calling (your next step) is not OUTSIDE your comfort zone, then you are playing TOO small, and therefore, not living your purpose.

Your next step should scare you! You should feel completely in-alignment with it and yet scared that you don’t know how you are going to do it, knowing that you are not prepared to do it and scared to tell anyone else you feel called to do it.

As the great T.D. Jakes says, when you receive that calling “You know you’re the one for the job!”

You don’t get to that calling without BEING your purpose first. You must live “in alignment”, meaning that you are living as your best and most authentic self. Through that journey of BEING your purpose, your calling will find you.

You don’t have to find your calling. You certainly don’t PICK your calling. Your calling picks you.

Stop being what you are not. Stop trying to please other people. Stop making decisions out of fear. Stop thinking that who you really are is not good enough. Stop living the life you have ended up in by default. Stop blaming everyone and everything around you for why you aren’t happy.

Start taking personal responsibility for everything in your life.

Remember, the universe is always guiding you, giving you opportunities to grow and teaching you everything you will need to one day live your purpose and answer your calling.

All the pain, the challenges, the breakdowns…they are all to teach you your life lessons and prepare you to be ready for the calling that is coming to you.

Every day, take another step towards being an even better and most authentic version of yourself, living in alignment with who you really are, no matter what.