“This call is completely inappropriate. I’m about to head into an important meeting, and I cannot deal with this right now. You cannot call me with these emotional outbursts.”
A new Quick Start™ student’s husband told her that after she called him in the middle of the day, crying and desperate for support.
And later that day, when he came home, he didn’t go to her and ask how she was holding up.
It was like the whole thing never happened.
“Stacey, I just don’t think I can ever forgive him!” she told me.
Not only had he abandoned her in her time of need, he’d made her feel like there was something wrong with her for having emotional needs.
I bet if this student were to tell her story to her female friends, most of them would probably say, “Wow, what an ass. I wouldn’t put up with that crap.”
Maybe that’s even what you’re thinking just reading this.
But that’s not what I see.
I see a classic case of a woman expecting a man to act like a woman.
Let’s say this same student had called her feminine energy, female best friend while in that same distraught state, and her friend had been about to head into a meeting.
Her friend’s response probably would have been something like this:
“Oh my gosh, sweetie, I’m so sorry. Look, I’m about to head into this dumb meeting, but I love you and I’ll call you as soon as I’m done.”
And then her friend would follow up somehow, either with a call back, going to see her or otherwise checking on her.
This is how women support other women, right? We’re wired for connection and support.
A man would never call up his friend and get a response like that. Can you imagine?
“Oh man, I’m so sorry, dude. Please know I love you and I’m here for you. I’ll call you back when I’m done with this silly meeting.”
No way!! His response would be exactly like this student’s husband!
I remember a time I called Paul at work — this was years ago — in the middle of what seemed to me like a big soppy “crisis,” and Paul told me he was very busy (which was true), and to call 9-1-1 if it was an emergency. Otherwise, I was not to call him at work with stuff like that.
SO many kerfuffles happen in relationships because men and women view each other through their own lens.
Meaning, women expect men to act and react like women, and men expect women to react like men.
But that’s not how it works!! Not if you want Unshakeable Love™ and Unleashed Passion™!
Understanding and accepting that your core masculine partner or core feminine partner is different than you, and working within that space instead of fighting with it, is the key to eliminating these kinds of kerfuffles.
In episode 13 of The Relationship Transformer Podcast, Paul and I are going to dive into what women think about men.
Whether you’re a woman reading this, or a man, this episode is a fantastic one to catch, because it really shines a light on why many of those fights with your partner happen.
Once you understand what’s going on — once the invisible problems become visible — then you can do something about it!
Here’s the link to check out episode 13 of our podcast:
P.S. Want training on how to understand how your partner is wired differently than you!?!? You can still get into our 14-Day Boost Program for just $47! 14DayBoost.com