You MUST get out of the toilet!

Your ability to have Mastery of your state, regardless of your environment and surroundings is one of the greatest assets you can have in life.

It’s what we all depend on from “emergency response” professionals. But in our own lives, WE are all the emergency response people!

At our recent Relationship Breakthrough Retreat live event, I had the pleasure of teaching one of our favorite relationship tools for mastering your state!

The State-O-Meter™!

Imagine one of those big “thermometers” that measures donations as they come in on a telethon. As the donations rise, so does the level on the thermometer.

Think of this as your State-O-Meter.

medical_red_thermometer_1At the very bottom is your LOW state, in the middle is your MIDDLE state and at the very top of the meter is your HIGH state. (simple!)

Here’s the thing.

When your partner drops BELOW the 50% line, into a low state, the KEY is that YOU must maintain your medium to high state and NOT drop down with them!

If you both drop down into a low state, you are BOTH hijacked and “in the toilet”! What good is going to come of that?! If you get triggered down into a low state, who’s going to pull you both out? Who’s going to be the hero? Who will be your emergency response professional? No one, because you are both in the toilet!

That’s why it’s SO critical to cultivate your state mastery.

Here’s the real key to this…….many of our clients are SHOCKED when I tell them this….

We teach hundreds of relationship tools & strategies in our step-by-step Relationship Transformation System®, and when you are BOTH in a low state….you can’t access ANY of them! You can’t put your partner first, you can’t love at level three, you can’t use what you understand about the differences between masculine and feminine, etc.

And you shouldn’t try!

When you have dropped below the 50% line in your state, you only have to do ONE THING…..

Get back into state! Get over the 50% line! That’s it!

Stop efforting at all that other stuff and JUST raise your state!

Only when you are over the 50% line, can you utilize all the tools & strategies that really work to transform your relationship!

If you do nothing else to improve your relationship, cultivate your state mastery!

If you want more tools for this, download our free audio program or reach out to us about our programs and events! No matter how you do it, you must cultivate your state mastery. It will impact every area of your life.

Sending love,


p.s. Since today is the anniversary of 9-11, I want to share with you one of the greatest examples of state mastery I have ever witnessed.

After being with Tony Robbins for 19 years, I can tell you with absolute certainty that your level of State Mastery is directly tied to the quality of your life!

On September 11, 2001, Tony Robbins was in Hawaii with 2,000 people gathered at a multi-day leadership event with him. When the events of 9-11 started here on the East Coast, it was the middle of the night for Tony and the thousands of people with him.

I’ve watched HOURS of video footage from that day with Tony. It impacted me in many ways and I’m grateful for all of them.

In this shortened video footage from that day, watch as Tony brings people together in a way that no one ever expected.

“Out of great tragedy, some good must come.” – Tony Robbins


4 thoughts on “You MUST get out of the toilet!

  1. Wow! First of all, love your state-o-meter! As a teacher of Self-relaxation, that is such an amazing way to visualize and make clear to us what out priorities should be. So helpful for me!!! (I love needing to get up and over the 50% mark – it means I have to make the time to do things I love! Yaaayy!)
    Re: what I am not taking action on: hiring a VA part time for my new business. I keep feeling like I am not at that stage, blah blah blah and yet I get frustrated with facebook, and am not getting out there in social media in a way I could be. For someone who is moving at warp speed, I am certainly getting in my own way here by making up excuses. So what if I've only been global for 2 weeks? I want 100 people on my subscription list now! Get out of my way, Me!!
    Re Tony – this is an amazing video and so inspirational!!! Thank you so much for sharing!!
    Here's to PEACE!

  2. Awesome article Stacy! I love this idea of mastering your state and being aware of where your partner is that. It makes so much sense, and yet it is so easy to follow each other into the toilet! (Metaphorically speaking!!)

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