The ZERO Compromise Solution to Relationship Challenges!

35106556_lThe way to transform your relationship is NOT to become something that you are not in order to try to make your relationship “successful”!

The process of Relationship Transformation is actually the process of removing all the bandages, contortions, and “being something we are not” to try to be what we think other people want us to be….and get back to our most authentic self!

When I hear “experts” saying that compromise is a key to successful relationship it infuriates me to no end!

Compromise is for SHIT!

Because compromise is based on you having good behavior to do something you don’t really want to do to please someone else! And NO ONE can have GOOD BEHAVIOR long term! And pleasing in a relationship is CRAP because it’s phony…. and when you try to please someone, nothing is learned so the relationship doesn’t grow!

I can’t have good behavior long term! (Paul Martino will tell you that!)

Good Behavior! Pleasing other people….It doesn’t work…and it doesn’t feel good!

By definition, you cannot build an unshakable love on a foundation of such fragile and phony crap as good behavior and pleasing other people!

It doesn’t work! You can only have good behavior for so long before you get fed up and either go back to doing what you have wired yourself to do….OR keep score and start measuring what you are getting back in exchange for what you are doing to please them. (and keeping score is a relationship transformation killer)

So what does work?

It’s a two part strategy.

Part One: BE YOU

Get back to your most authentic self! Stop trying to be what you think other people want you to be, and be who you really are! Now, that said, don’t be a jerk about it! (hehe) What I mean is, don’t be all “this is who I am and if you don’t like it then F-you!”

Have a higher standard for yourself and be your BEST and most authentic self…with a commitment to continually being an even better version of yourself as you grow!

Part Two: GROW YOU

Empower yourself with the tools & strategies to create a 100%/100% relationship, where you know how to bring out the BEST and most authentic self in your partner! Where you are FULLY committed and give 100% to your partner! Not pleasing…GIVING – there is a HUGE difference between “pleasing” and “giving”! (take a moment and say each one to yourself, you will FEEL the difference)

Giving comes from a great and abundant place within you where you are giving and serving because you want to and it feels good. Pleasing comes from a negative place, where you are doing something you think others want, or you think is “right” but you don’t really want to, and eventually, if you keep “pleasing” it will turn into resentment…and maybe even anger!

When you understand, appreciate and cherish the differences between the masculine and feminine, you don’t have to have “good behavior,” you don’t have to “compromise” and you don’t have to “measure” to make sure you are getting yours.

When people hear me say that “compromise is for S#%T” they will often ask me “how do you NOT compromise in your relationship with Paul?”

My answer is very simple and straightforward….I don’t compromise, because if I’m not 100% in alignment with Paul, it’s my job to seek to understand him more so that I can be 100% aligned, so I can serve him and help make his dreams come true. That’s my job! (and he feels it is his job to do so for me.)

We just keep “doing the work” until we understand at a deep enough level to reach alignment. Of course, it didn’t start out that way… We have developed the skills to do this, and now so do our clients!

It truly is amazing….and unshakable….to live a life with Zero Compromise! I highly recommend it!



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9 thoughts on “The ZERO Compromise Solution to Relationship Challenges!

  1. Brilliant distinctions. I'll never, ever remember to put down the toilet seat, as hard as I try. I'm a guy, I'll be a guy my entire life. But I am a great guy, a giving guy. I give all the time. And whenever I have tried to please anybody I discovered something – they were somehow unhappy anyway. And every time I ever gave something from me to someone I loved, they never gave it back and they smiled from ear to ear. Stacey Martino, you're definitely on to something here.

  2. Redoing quickstart today. I'm so happy for all the new lovies. Although, I've heard you teach similar things, this struck me anew. Alignment. Need to keep working on this in my current struggles. Thank you, Stacey. Sending love.

  3. I loved Stacy! When I was going to get married, I hear in Spencer the words "sacrifice for the other" and I felt a fire inside myself. Love, is sacrifice?? mmm… not for me…. Love is joy, pleasure, enjoyment! And from that space I give the best of me to him. When I had to decide to relocate to US and "giving up" my professional projects in France, I didn't took the step forward, until it felt right inside, this took me 2 years, until I find out that the amazing relationship that we had fulfilled me more than any other project. And now! I just discover that I can even play a bigger game, thanks to the example of people like you Stacey and the help of our mentor business mentor Fabienne Fredrickson, and marriage side, it is very happy and "feels right inside"
    So, what Stacey is writing really works!!

  4. I have been taking this approach more and more with Dwayne and I find that it DOES feel a LOT better to be true to how I feel – even if I don't have a reason why (yet). Not compromising is a new standard that I have taken into my life and I find myself feeling more abundant in all aspects. I don't take away from my desire and I encourage Dwayne to do the same. Even if there is a delay, it is not a denial. I really love the positive impact that comes from raising my standard and not compromising <3 Thank you Stacey Martino for raising the bar. I feel we are both valued more by not compromising.

  5. This way of viewing compromise Stacey is so spot on. And love the way you explain that it's about being you, growing and if you're feeling out of alignment then to seek to understand more, which of course is the big difference between pleasing and giving right there, by truly wanting to understand and support the other better it can only giving 🙂

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