…if they were deserving, they wouldn’t need forgiveness 😉
What is forgiveness? Forgiveness is giving up the hope that it could have been any different then it was. That’s all it is.
What forgiveness is NOT: Forgiveness is NOT saying “what you did is ok”.
Forgiveness is for YOU, not the other person. When you give up the hope that it could have been any different then it was, you are giving yourself a gift, not the other person. You may feel relief, you may feel lighter, you may feel brighter, you may feel free!
There is an old saying “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift, that is why it is called the present“.
When people are UNforgiving, they are carrying their past with them into today. When will you experience TODAY? Tomorrow, today will be gone. If you spend the day today living a day from your past and tomorrow today will be gone…are you actually saying that you didn’t NEED to live today!?
When you close your eyes, put your hand on your heart, breathe deeply in your heart and choose to forgive, the entire experience is for YOU. If you were to do that right now, what would shift in the other person’s life?
Nothing. Forgiveness is for you. When YOU forgive them, they do not forgive themselves in the same moment. Forgiveness is just for YOU.
Do you have a moment in your life when you were really unhappy about the way things went, but now looking back you realize that it worked out just perfectly in the end…even if it was painful in the moment?
“Everything happens for a reason and a purpose and it serves you.” – Tony Robbins
There are some things in life that worked out best for us in the end, but we haven’t gone back and forgiven for the pain it caused. You may feel so bitterly towards that ex-lover for how your relationship ended, but you are now happily married with beautiful children. Would you have wanted it to have been any different? Why remain UNforgiving?
Maybe you feel you would have wanted it to be without pain. Pain is a part of life. Who should those normal pains happen to, someone else?
“Pain is a part of life. Suffering is optional” – Tony Robbins
Suffering is when you carry your pain with you into today. Suffering is when you remain in UNforgiveness.
When you hold onto UNforgiveness, YOU are the one carrying your pain with you everyday. As Caroline Myss teaches, by continuing to hurt ourselves, we tell the universe that we are no different then the people who hurt us.
So give yourself the gift of forgiveness. Be FOR GIVING!