What does this classic friends clip have to do with creating your magnificent love affair! Watch, laugh, and then read on!
Now, I’m not sure if the old hug and roll is good advice in bed, but I will say that the “hug and roll” method does have its place in relationships.
The good and the “less than good”:
What’s great about the old “hug and roll” is that Ross is giving Rachel what she wants first, and then moving into what he needs. So, in a way, he’s putting her needs before his. That is a fundamental key to a magnificent love affair…putting your spouse first. So, the intention behind the “hug and roll” is spot on!
Now, his execution of this strategy is a little comical, a little questionable, but ultimately playful 😉
How does the “hug and roll” really shine as a strategy for creating your magnificent love affair?
Simple. The next time you have a “need” that is in conflict with what your spouse “wants”, try the “hug and roll” approach (but be more elegant than Ross).
Think of your spouse’s want or need first, meet it, then meet yours.
An example, you say?
Meet Bob and Sue:
Let’s say that husband, Bob, needs to go away on business for 4 days next week. Bob’s been away a lot and he feels that his wife, Sue, will not be pleased to learn that he has to go away again next week for four more days. Bob can try the “hug and roll” (not literally) approach.
First Bob thinks about what Sue really wants, not what he THINKS she wants, but what she REALLY wants. He “steps into her shoes” for a moment and really feels what it is that she needs most from him. When he does this exercise, this is what Bob comes up with:
- To know that she and the kids are the most important thing in his life.
- His undivided attention
- To feel cherished and appreciated
- For the kids to spend quality time with him
So, while Bob cannot stay home next week, he can find a way to meet Sue’s top needs in other ways before he leaves again. Bob decides to do the following:
- Bob calls his sister and arranges for his kids to go over there on Saturday night so he can take Sue out for dinner to her favorite restaurant (he calls the restaurant and makes a reservation).
- Bob goes online and purchases 3 tickets to the ice skating show on Sunday afternoon (for him and the kids alone).
- After the kids go to sleep that night, Bob sits down with Sue, and tells her that while he would so much rather stay home with them next week, he needs to travel for four days. He tells Sue of the date night that he has arranged for them for Saturday night and about the skating show he is taking the kids to on Sunday. He also reminds Sue that if at any time she thinks they should revisit whether his job is the best match for their family right now she should just let him know, because she and the kids are the most important part of his life, and they will always design their lives as a team.
Bob, Sue and the kids have a great weekend, and while everyone is back to school and back to work the next week, Bob flies off to his business trip with a happy smile and a contented heart. And he sends Sue flowers his first night away ;).
THAT my friends…is the Hug and Roll!! With positive intent and elegant execution!
Try it and tell me how it goes!!!