“Have you ever noticed that when you’re walking and you turn your head to look back, you stop? Much like life…………..once you choose a direction, don’t look back, it will only halt your progress!”
– Lee Ann Heath
How does this apply to intimate relationships?
How many times in your relationship are you looking back to something that they said or did and how it made you feel. How often is this impacting the next words that come out of your mouth, or the next action that you take.
When you look back are you stacking or flooding?
“Stacking” is when you remember every bad thing that someone has done and “stack” them up so it feels bigger and bigger and bigger. You know this one, it’s when someone forgets to do something for you and then when you lay into them about it you start bringing up all the other times they disappointed you for other things too…even if it was 9 years ago.
“Flooding” is when you remember all the magic moments, the funny times, the romantic times, the exciting times, the surprises, the sweet moments and every moment that fills you with love and joy. When you remember lots of those moments one after another, that is flooding.
It’s pretty simple, you probably felt it already while you were reading this post. When you “stack” you end up feeling really bad and when you “flood” you end up feeling positively amazing!
Here’s the thing…
We’ve ALL done things, said things and made choices that we wish we hadn’t. We’ve all said things that we hope no one ever hears, we’ve all made bad choices, we’ve all done stupid things.
The past only equals the present if you choose to bring it with you here.
People will often say to me, but it’s the truth, this really did happen. Yes, and so did all the beautiful things…they really did happen to. It’s YOUR minute, you get to chose what to focus your attention on.
So if your true desire is to MOVE FORWARD, and you find yourself wondering why you are not making progress, ask yourself if my friend Lee Ann has your number…are you STOPPED because you are looking BACK?