It does NOT take TWO to Tango!

“One person CAN transform a relationship! It does NOT take two!” – Stacey Martino

I know it may sound crazy to you! And 18 years ago, I wouldn’t have believed it either.  But I’ve now witnessed this hundreds of times.

One person CAN absolutely transform their relationship!

And here’s the thing, you already know it.  Watch….

When two people come together, a third entity is formed…the relationship.  When one person drastically alters how they show up in the relationship, the other partner is shifted…by definition.  When you no longer throw up the triggers you used to…your partner is shifted.  When you don’t get triggered and respond to their triggers the way you used to…they are shifted.  By definition, as you shift and transform, so does your relationship.

A relationship is nothing more than the two partners coming together.  As my coach and mentor Tony Robbins teaches, “moment to moment, the state of the relationship is the state the two partners bring to it.”

Think about it…If you come home in a lousy state (pissed, frustrated, sad, whatever that is for you), and your partner comes home is the same lousy state (pissed, frustrated, angry, sad) what is the state of your relationship when you come together??  Is your relationship going to suddenly be bright, sunny, loving, optimistic and generous?

The state of the relationship is the state of the partners in it.

So as YOU elevate your state, as you transform yourself into the best version of yourself as a partner that you can be, as you deepen your understanding and appreciation for the opposite sex partner you live with, as you learn the strategies to align with them as an indivisible team, as you learn the tools to forgive and forget, as you bring more passion, playfulness and fun back in, as you reignite the spark of polarity and cultivate a renewed intimacy with your lover….your relationship WILL change because YOU are changing how you SHOW UP in your relationship!

One of the biggest push backs I hear from people is that they don’t want to be the ONE to give or do more if their partner isn’t going to also do it.

Sweetie, don’t do this for them, do this for YOU!

As you transform yourself… the release, freedom, peace, fulfillment, joy and love that you will feel within yourself will transform the quality of YOUR LIFE!! Don’t live a lesser life than you want to live out of SPITE to your partner!  Go get the life you want!  EMPOWER yourself with the tools and strategies you need to create a magnificent love affair YOU get to live in every day!

Who cares WHO does it!! You get to live in it!  Be the HERO!

It saddens me to see SO many people sitting around WAITING for their relationship to change or their partner to change.

Now you know, the relationSHIP does not change, the partners must change.  And if we are really being honest here, if your partner had the skills and tools to fully love you for everything you are, make you completely happy and take your relationship to the next level, they would have done it by now.

A relationship transformation is not going to just interrupt your day! But the awesome news is that you do NOT have to wait for your partner to be willing to do this with you, agree to whatever you want to do to improve your relationship or participate in any way! YOU are completely empowered to create the life and love you desire! All you need to do is take action…and experience your relationship transform every day!

As Tony often says “When would NOW be a good time to begin?”

Sending love,



10 thoughts on “It does NOT take TWO to Tango!

  1. This is absolutely true in any relationship, Stacey! Such wisdom. Every time I have shifted the dynamic in any relationship, the other person has had to shift too. Don't kid yourself, they don't always go down without a fight. After all change is hard. But eventually, if they want to spend time with you, shift they must.

  2. Taking action Stacey, is critical and does make a difference you are so right – it does not take two. More can do it and the results are amazing.

  3. Stacey, it is so very true that changing the relationship begins with changing one's self. It took me a long while to realize that and to change me so that my relationship with hubby could change.

  4. Great article, Stacey, and so true! I see the exact same thing with couples and their money (and in my own relationships) – when one person changes the “dance”, the whole thing changes. It can be daunting to take on that much responsibility, but the results make it all worth it. Thanks!

  5. Stacey – I LOVE this article! I get so frustrated doing couples' counseling when all they want to do is point fingers and demand the OTHER person change. It does nothing to move the relationship forward and just causes both individuals to remain stuck.

    1. Thank you so much for sharing your treasured perspective Alyssa!!!! I agree! Which is why our Relationship Rescue program takes a completely UNIQUE approach to rescuing the relationship!!! And it works!!!

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