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Learning Experiences Not Loser Experiences

Stacey Martino

Failure is not failure

A Client Story

A client shared a story with me about her “second try”.  As she described it, next weekend would be her “second try” for showing up for her husband with unconditional love.

What was interesting to me is that she wrote this: “first try: failed”  She described that her first try was last week, when he needed her support on something and she was very tired, stressed, over hungry and on a short fuse.

First, of course, BRAVA for my amazing client…she is looking forward to her OPPORTUNITY this weekend for her “second try”!  What an incredible woman to have so much emotional fitness and dedication to the life she wants!! Inspiring!!

Reframe Failure

But, as I shared lovingly with her, a reframe is necessary here, in order for her to truly achieve the outcome she desires…and maybe you too.

Years ago, Paul and I were at a Tony Robbins event and he said

“There are only two kinds of human experiences: Pleasurable ones and “L”earning Experiences!”

(as he made an L with his fingers over his forehead!)

Learning experiences not loser experiences

Yep, everyone laughed!  But the lesson still stuck with me… and with Paul.  I can’t tell you how many times a week Paul or I say that exact phrase to our clients, our friends…our kids!  That’s the truth! There are ONLY two kinds of experiences in this world….pleasurable ones and learning experiences.

The famous Edison quote says

“I have not failed.  I just found 10000 ways that won’t work.”

We learn from EVERY experience.  But we ONLY fail when we STOP!

That’s the secret.  You can’t fail, until you give up!  So, that is what I shared with my lovely client…last week’s first try was a learning experience.  If you choose not to LEARN from it, THAT’S the REAL loss.  But it’s NOT a failure, by definition, because you are planning a second try!

So learn from your “learning experiences”! Like my client who should now understand that when she is over-tired, over-hungry and stressed…that is not the time to try to GIVE as if you are already getting everything you need in the world! 🙂

And YOU….what “Learning Experiences” have you had lately??  Are you getting the lessons??  Post your comment below, so we can all learn from your “L”earning experiences!

As the famous saying goes

“I’ve learned so much from my mistakes, I’m thinking about making a few more!”

Sending love,


p.s. Learning is a part of life and a sign of growth! We don’t expect babies to walk their first time on up on their feet, right.  When the baby falls down the first time, we don’t say to them “aww, too bad kid, I guess you’re just not gonna be a walker!”  So why do we BIG KIDS stop trying after we screw up a few times??  Don’t sit on the sidelines just so you are never wrong!  Put your ego aside, go out and create your life by design!!! Delight in the mistakes and learning along the way!!! LIVE YOUR LIFE!!!