Wow, the response to this series has been awesome! I love how many people have said they are going to re-watch the movie with “new eyes” now! That’s exciting.
Ok, in this blog, we get the awesome opportunity to learn a fantastic lesson in love (masculine and feminine perspective) from the characters Phillip and Anne.
(SPOILER ALERT: If you haven’t seen The Greatest Showman, maybe don’t read this just yet.)
The scene is New York City in circa 1840s. Phineas begins recruiting performers for his show. We meet Anne, the sister in a talented African-American brother-sister trapeze duo. She is beautiful and athletic and also very conscious of being a black woman in contrast to the rest of the cast.
Next, we meet Phillip, a successful, upper-class playwright who spends his time socializing and getting drunk. Phineas sees Phillip’s success in the theater and asks him how he sells so many tickets at a time then the Barnum show is struggling.
I LOVE Phillip’s answer! It’s SO easy to blow by this one line – but in this one line, Phillip delivers the entire theme of the film!
He says “That’s because I’m selling VIRTUE!”
Virtue is what people think they are SUPPOSED to do, whether to gain significance or please others. This is what we teach as DEMAND RELATIONSHIP®, and it is a broken model. (For more on that, sign up to watch my free webinar at www.relationshipbreakthroughsecrets.com.)
Don’t you wanna get away to a whole new part you’re gonna play
‘Cause I got what you need, so come with me and take the ride
To the other side
So if you do like I do
So if you do like me
Forget the cage, ’cause we know how to make the key
Oh, damn! Suddenly we’re free to fly
We’re going to the other side
The lyrics to “The Other Side” (my favorite song of the movie) are INCREDIBLE. The entire song demonstrates Phineas’s ability to influence Phillip to break free of the expected crap (Demand Relationship) and make the decision to start living his life by design!
Phineas knows that to bring Phillip on board his team, he will have to convince him to take a big risk. What can he offer that every man wants? FREEDOM! In the song “The Other Side,” Phineas starts to build rapport with Phillip by matching his every movement, talking about the whisky and MISERY that makes Phillip ACHE. Phillip at first denies his situation; he’s at a panic point and facing a big decision.
Phineas shows him what life can be, offers his MENTORSHIP, and then backs off and leaves the decision up to Phillip.
The men start to negotiate, and by this point Phineas knows that Phillip can’t deny his need to be his own man and create his dreams. Phillip lets go of FEAR and embraces a new-found LOVE for life and the future.
His reward for acting so boldly? In the next moment, Phillip meets the LOVE of his LIFE as he sets eyes on Anne! What is on the other side of a PANIC POINT when you act from FAITH and KNOWING what is right? LOVE! I absolutely LOVE this! (Are you seeing this!?!?)
The development of the love relationship between Anne and Phillip offers us so many incredible demonstrations of masculine and feminine dynamics!
Anne and Phillip share a reciprocal attraction. When together among the cast of the show, they are comfortable to be themselves and spend time together.
But outside of the safety of the “circus bubble” it’s clear that Anne doubts any possibility of them being a couple.
Anne deeply believes that her race will stand in the way of their relationship and we see her TEST Phillip several times.
Don’t miss this! This is a KEY concept!!!
The First Test: Phillip gets the circus invited to Buckingham Palace to meet the Queen. Without any words, WATCH as Anne looks at her brother. Without any words, her eyes widen as if to ask him “do you think they mean US too?” Without a word, her brother shakes his head (almost without moving) as if to silently say “no, of course not, and lay-low about this.”
BUT what does Anne do… with her newfound BOLDNESS (from within the TRIBE of the circus), she says “Does that include EVERYBODY?!”
You can watch each of their faces. They know exactly what she is asking.
This is her FIRST test of Phillip.
He replies “Well, we will just have to let them know that either ALL of us go, or NONE of us go!”
Throughout time (in Demand Relationship) women have TESTED men as a way of getting the assurances that they needed without asking directly. (Because women didn’t have any place to ASK for anything directly in past generations, so they learned how to TEST to get their needs met.)
Let’s use the example of what just happened.
Anne used implied communication to test Phillip “Does that include everybody?” she asked.
Women still speak like this today. Because this is all that has ever been modeled for us. Other women naturally understand implied communication and appreciate the TACT conveyed by it.
Unfortunately, men do NOT speak implied communication. And most of a woman’s intention is LOST on her man in today’s world.
Women often say to me “But I could not have been more clear!”
Trust me, I get it. I know what Anne meant. You knew what Anne meant. Thanks to the directors and the camera shots, everyone in the audience knew what Anne meant.
But unfortunately, if a woman keeps testing her man instead of learning how to speak DIRECTLY, this will cause a lot of unnecessary kerfuffle today.
If Anne were using Relationship Development tools and wrapping her words in a wrapper that her man could really understand, that honored their relationship and how he is wired, this is what that would sound like….
“I’m concerned that I will be excluded. I’m also deeply afraid that in the moment that I need your protection most, the pressure of society will keep you from standing up for me. And beyond everything else, I feel like I need to know if you will protect me and stand up for me forever if I’m going to give you my love. If that’s not something you can promise me, I understand. It would be better for me to know that now, so I can either open myself to your love or close and keep on protecting myself. There is no in between for me. Since my life is at stake here, I just need to know your position on this. I’m ready to hear the truth, no matter how hard it is. Thanks for listening”
Yeah, that is REAL. That’s vulnerable. That’s DIRECT.
Every man on the PLANET understands the situation with CRYSTAL CLARITY at that moment. There is NO guessing, no confusion, no manipulation, no kerfuffle! And no man needs any relationship education in order to understand that message and act on it.
With that, a man can decide clearly and make his decision.
Take that in for a minute. THAT is the approach that actually works in relationship today. We are both FREE now and it’s time we drop the old broken demand-relationship tactics, like TESTING, that are no longer needed (and do not work).
Please know, I’m not judging Anne. During her time period, she was VERY brave to even do what she did. That was the best she could do at that time.
But let me ask YOU. Are you a BLACK woman living in the 1840s?
NO? But yet we are still using some of the same relationship tactics because that’s what’s been modeled to us for generations!
It’s time to break the chains my friend! It’s time for you to RISE and evolve! It’s time for you to get the Relationship Development tools you deserve. (And your kids deserve to WATCH you model the relationship development tools that work, instead of perpetuating more demand-relationship tactics that don’t)
In next week’s blog, I’m diving deep into PROTECTION and the KERFUFFLE that it is STILL causing today for so many couples! Don’t miss this one!
PS Are you ready to leave Demand Relationship behind you, RISE and get the Relationship Development tools and strategies you need to create your unshakable love today???
Join my content-packed 2-hour web class and get the relationship education you deserve! http://relationshipbreakthroughsecrets.com