So you’re gonna have some “bad” behavior huh?

naumoid / 123RF Stock Photo
naumoid / 123RF Stock Photo

May I ask you a question?  Can you NOT have any “bad” behavior for the rest of the day today?

Ok. How about for the next seven days? Can you go all of the next 7 days without ANY “bad” behavior?

How about the rest of this year? Come on, it’s just for a year!  Can you go this entire year without ANY “bad” behavior?

So I guess asking if you can go the rest of your life without any “bad” behavior is kinda a moot point, huh?

So, you are gonna have some “bad” behavior from time to time huh?

Does that mean you don’t deserve love?  I mean, let’s be honest here.  You just “told” me that you’re gonna have some “bad” behavior coming up.  So, should I stop loving you now?

What do we teach our kids? We tell our kids, “I love you for who you ARE, not what you DO.” Right?  We love our kids, UNCONDITIONALLY.

If we don’t have the intimate relationship we dreamed of having, it’s because we don’t give our partner unconditional love, like we give our kids.

We all want to be loved forever, even though we know we will have “bad” behavior from time to time.

Yet, we pull our love away when our partner has “bad” behavior.

What if, instead of pulling your love away, you choose to love their soul?

What if you choose to respond instead of react? 

Respond to who they are inside, their heart.  Instead of reacting to their “bad” behavior, fear, triggers and patterns.

We all have fears, triggers, patterns and “bad” behaviors.  Me, you, your partner and everyone else.

Experiencing someone’s “bad” behavior is an opportunity.  It’s an exercise in compassion.

In that moment, they are showing you their humanity.  Like you probably feel when you are behaving “badly”, they feel they don’t “deserve” to be loved when they are behaving that way.

Instead of pulling your love away and proving them right, maybe give them a “lesson they will never forget”?

What do I mean?

When someone is at their worst, give them a lesson they will never forget:  LOVE THEM!

Love them through their crap!

Look sweetie, when people are jerks and behave badly, they expect people to respond to them a certain way and they are “ready” for it. You know it’s true because you know how you feel when you act like a jerk. So pulling your love away isn’t going to be very memorable for them, they are expecting it.

Give them a lesson they will NEVER forget.  Love them!

When someone has “bad” behavior and you don’t pull love away, instead, you look through the “behavior” to what is in their heart, FEEL who they really are and love them anyway….that bonds a relationship like nothing else! They will NEVER forget that.

Do you want that when YOU have “bad” behavior?

You have to give it, to get it sweetie.

And I’ll let you in on a little secret….it feels amazing both ways.  Both when you give Grace and when you receive Grace….you get to FEEL GRACE!

Sending love (even if you are having “bad” behavior)

Stacey