What to do when your partner doesn’t want to TALK about it…

Someone asked me a question the other day during one of our Q&A calls and it sparked a lot of attention.  SO many people resonated with this person’s situation!  It did not surprise me at all, since I get asked this question (in one form or another) often.  So I thought I would answer the question here on the blog today too!

Dear Stacey,

My partner seems to have given up on our relationship.  He’s not leaving, he said he wouldn’t do that, but he’s given up on our relationship getting any better than it is.

In the past few months I’ve had a big breakthrough in my perspective on our relationship and I’m willing to take responsibility for my role in our relationship today.  I realize that as much as I’ve felt lonely, unappreciated and hurt over the past few years…he’s probably felt the same way.

It’s been three months since he’s been willing to talk about anything related to our relationship though.  I told him I’d give him space, but I feel like I’m just hanging here.

I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make things better than they’ve ever been, but I don’t think he believes me.  The last time we talked he said that he’s done talking about things because he feels that we’ve talked in the past but nothing has changed.

I think that when we’ve talked before, we’ve each been so angry and had our own agendas in the conversation, that we weren’t really able to hear the other person.  I’m willing to approach talking to him completely differently and just listen so I can try to understand what he even needs from me that he’s given up on getting.  But he doesn’t want to talk. What do I do?

 

The key points to remember:

  • STOP TALKING
  • From the state you are both in currently, you cannot talk your way out of this…you cannot heal your own relationship from this state.
  • Put your relationship conversation on the shelf for 8 weeks.
  • Transform yourself, use the eight step Relationship Transformation System to shift yourself into the best version of yourself and the most authentic version of yourself
  • Show up in your relationship differently, and prove this over a prolonged period of time…like 8 weeks.
  • Let his EXPERIENCE of you shift in your relationship, in a consistent way, over time.
  • Then when he experiences you differently, he will have a renewed optimism and a renewed energy from the progress that he’s experiencing…and he will come to you differently.
  • Use the Brick Conversation™ framework to have a productive conversation with your partner….so the conversation is NOT like it used to be in the past!

If you are in a similar situation, please apply this same strategy in your own relationship! You must transform yourSELF and show up differently in your relationship in order to shift your relationship.  Get yourself the support and love that you need to fortify yourself through this time.  Follow a proven system of strategies and tools that really work to get you the transformation that you desire!

You must go beyond yourself to transform your relationship! If YOU and your partner could fix this, you would have done it already.  Don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong with you!! It’s just that no one has taught you how to do this yet!

If we can serve you to help you do this quicker, more successfully and in a loving and supportive environment, please come join us! Our clients are experiencing amazing results every day in our programs and events!

Sending love to you,
Stacey